Today is a good day. I found that I was actually happy to be sitting in my 8 am organic chemistry class. Considering I hate organic chemistry I decided that I was just happy to be awake in the morning. It was a beautiful morning. I can't tell you the last time I was happy to be awake. Or happy that it was morning. I'm one of those people that love mornings. I love being up early enough to hear the birds signal the dawn! Its a glorious sound. A joyful, alive sound. 


     I have better new than that though! I was sitting in Animal Genetics, contemplating dinner, and I decided to make baked salmon and roasted red potatoes for dinner tonight. I AM COOKING. I AM IN THE MOOD TO COOK. This is groundbreaking! It has been 15 days since I have wanted to cook anything. I have skipped meals or snacked through them because I had no desire to cook anything for one. I have a salmon filet thawing on my counter right now. I am overjoyed that I want to cook again! I even baked fish sticks for lunch today! Woohoo!!!


     AND I wrote a to do list in my planner. I've even accomplished about half of it. Today is a good day. I feel like myself today. I feel alive today. Awake. Alert. Energetic. I feel like myself. I'm no longer following myself around the house berating myself in my own head for the lack of motivation and drive I've had the last two weeks. I AM RANDOMLY SMILING RIGHT NOW. Do you have any idea how long it has been since I just randomly smiled? Ages... Before Cliff left. Possibly before July... Its been a rough time for me, not just because of Cliff leaving. I've just been hard on myself and depressed for a while. I feel like wanting to cook dinner for myself is the first step in the right direction. Its going to be a hard road to walk, but I'm excited to get started.